Testing Ones "Liberal Quotient" On Illegal Immigration

Authored by JOHN W LILLPOP



As the debate on illegal immigration heats, this quiz has been designed to measure ones “liberal quotient"---the opposite of intelligence quotient--- on this vital issue:
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Illegal immigration is:


( )Desperately needed by liberals in order to win elections


( )A misnomer...they are actually undocumented democrats!


( )Mexico’s chief export


( )NOT a threat to US homeland security. Why would Mexican peasants destroy
the land of free rice and tacos?

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Border security should be:


( ) Ignored, because we need cheap lettuce


( ) Ignored, because we need cheap lettuce AND More Democrats


( )Turned over to Vicente Fox in the name of Diversity


( ) Used to keep Republicans out of the US


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The proposed fence between the US and Mexico is:


( ) A terrific idea, if built by firms owned by women and minorities


( ) Unconstitutional..discriminates against Mexicans too fat to climb over a fence


( ) “Pork” in Red States, but economic necessity in blue states

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The proposed Guest Worker Program:


( )Is illegal if it prevents Mexicans from collecting welfare


( )Will work if guest workers are required to join a labor union


( )Should include free health care, drivers licenses, college degrees
and interest-free mortgages for illegal aliens


( )Sounds like amnesty, but Mexicans here illegally DESERVE amnesty!


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Spanish Vs. English. Mexican illegal immigrants should:


( )Be required to continue with Spanish as their only language because
DNC has printed 30 million ballots in Spanish for the 2008 election


( )Be kept English-illiterate to avoid exposure to GOP lies and propaganda


( )Be taught vital English words and phrases like welfare, food stamps, ACLU,
racism, class-action lawsuit, Vote Democrat!, six- pack of Cuervo ASAP


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Janet Napolitano, Democrat Governor of Arizona:


( )Was FOR Illegal Immigration Before She Was AGAINST it


( )Was a “stealth” candidate in Mexico’s presidential election in early July


( )Eloped with Democrat Governor Bill Richardson, with whom she has had three abortions


( )Thinks ‘Minutemen’ is a reference to the sexual staying power of Border Patrol agents

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In dealing with massive protests by illegal aliens, the most prudent action would be to:


( )Send a Letter of Unconditional Surrender to Vicenete Fox along with a fully-executed Quit Claim deed to California, Texas, Arizona, and New Mexico.


( )Pardon all 20 million illegal aliens with an Executive Order signed
by President Bush & approved by Vicente Fox


( )Hand out Spanish-language ballots for 2008 with Hillary Clinton’s name
pre- punched as a vote for president


( )Sell forged driver’s licenses and Social Security cards, and use
proceeds to buy ads opposing HR 4437

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Well, how did you do? Liberal enough to be considered anti-American?

That is the goal of the DNC you know.

Greater Threat To America: Vicente Fox or Osama bin Laden?

Authored by JOHN W LILLPOP



When Mexico’s Vicente Fox visited the US in May, his purpose was to rally Mexicans squatting illegally in America. Common criminals the Mexican president foolishly calls ‘heroes.’

Odd, that.

According to the logic-challenged Fox, Mexicans living in America illegally are heroes, whereas illegals living in Mexico from nations south of Mexico’s borders are felons.

What’s the difference, one wonders?

US dinero would seem to be the short answer.

Whilst the unlovable Fox was invading the US West, America’s other public nemesis, Osama bin Laden, was announcing that Zacharias Moussaoui was not a part of the 9/11 plot after all.

Turns out Moussaoui was telling the truth when he said he was lying…. about being guilty.

That is, if you believe that bin Laden is now telling the truth.

Strange message from OBL.

Why would this master terrorist waste his time and effort just to let the world know Moussaoui was not a part of 9/11?

Perhaps things are slowing down in the terrorism sector? The equivalent of the housing bubble in the murder and mayhem market?

But which of these two evil doers-Vicente Fox or Osama bin Laden- is a greater threat to America?

Everyone knows that bin Laden orchestrated the 9/11 attacks which killed 3,000 innocent Americans.

How many innocent Americans have been raped, murdered or robbed by illegal aliens since 9/11?

A wicked academic guess: More than 3,000.

Everyone knows that Al-Quadea and Osama bin Laden are an enormous danger to US homeland security, and would kill millions of innocent Americans if given the opportunity.

But how many dedicated terrorists have made it across the US-Mexico border because of the unmanageable flood of mostly-Mexican invaders coming here, for whatever purpose?

Everyone knows that fighting Osama bin Laden and the war on terror is costing America at least $10 billion dollars a month.

But what about the $100 billion it costs each year to provide 20 million illegal aliens with food, education, medical care and other public services?

Everyone knows Osama bin Laden and Islamic extremists are intent on destroying western civilization and converting the entire world to Islam.

But what about the fact that many illegal aliens come to the US with visions of reconquering the American Southwest upper-most in their minds?

Or that millions refuse to assimilate by learning American language and culture?

There is one factor that makes Vicente Fox decidedly more dangerous than Osama bin Laden:

Fox is able to rely on George W Bush as a co-conspirator in the Mexicanization of America.

As far as we know, Osama bin Laden has no such ’special’ relationship with Bush.

The bottom line: How do you say jihad in Spanish?


John Lillpop is a recovering liberal, 'clean and sober' since 1992 when last he voted for a Democrat. Pray for John: He lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, where people like Nancy Pelosi are considered reasonable!

Whither Bush Concern for Americans and the US Constitution?

Authored by JOHN W LILLPOP



Why Does Bush Refuse to Enforce the Law? Why is he Concerned About Offending Illegal Aliens?

As illegal aliens continue to invade America across our unsecured southern border, GW Bush, America's alleged war-on-terror chief, is said to be unwilling to take a hard-line approach to stop the invasion.

The president's refusal is said to be based on 'concern' about offending illegal aliens.

Concern about offending illegal aliens? What in the hell is this naive president smoking?

How about some good old -fashioned presidential concern for American citizens, Mr. President?

You know:

-Concern that a terrorist will cross our border and annihilate thousands or millions of Americans?

-Concern that illegal aliens cost US Taxpayers upwards of $100 billion a year in public services?

-Concern that the standard of living for working-class American citizens is in serious decline, aggravated by millions of illegal aliens who work for less money and without benefits?

-Concern that America is in jeopardy of becoming a third-world abyss, akin to Mexico?

Despite all of the double-talk and nonsense about the need for 'Comprehensive Reform' from Bush, nearly all Democrats and RINOs, the brutal truth is as follows: America needs absolutely no new law or laws.

What we desperately need is a president who understands that:

-His oath of office requires him to defend and protect the people of the United States.

-It is his constitutional duty to keep foreign invaders from crossing US borders and violating US sovereignty.

-Enforcing federal law is NOT a pick-and-choose option. As chief executive of the US, he is REQUIRED to enforce ALL laws.

Federal law, including the Immigration Reform and Control Act (Simpson-Mazzoli Act) of 1986, requires the government to take action against employers who hire illegal aliens.

In addition:

Deportation of illegal aliens is mandated by law.

The US-Mexico border is established in international law.

People who enter America illegally are CRIMINALS who threaten our homeland security, and economic and cultural stability.

All it would take is a presidential order to Homeland Security and the Justice Department ordering those agencies to enforce ALL applicable immigration laws immediately.

But for some strange reason, GW Bush does not seem to give a damn about American citizens or his constitutional responsibilities.

For that, GW Bush deserves to be impeached and removed from office!

Floyd Landis and French 'Testosterone Envy'

Authored by JOHN W LILLPOP



Poor Floyd Landis.

America's cycling hero has fallen victim to 'Testosterone envy' in a socialist nation where the male hormone is considered inherently bad.

A nation of pansies where testosterone-deficient males waste hours and hours on a mindless 'sport' that often ends with neither side scoring and without a winner.

A nation where head-butting is actually considered masculine.

Given France's wimpy reputation, why should anyone be surprised that testosterone is not in vogue there?

Why Would a Normal Muslim Ever Resist Death?

Authored by JOHN W LILLPOP


Think about it.

If a Muslim man has immediate access to 72 voluptuous virgins upon death, why resist?

In fact, one wonders why Musab Zarqawi tried to crawl off his death-stretcher last June in Iraq?

Given the promise of all that free love, why not just lay back, relax and croak?

Perhaps Zarqawi understood that if he was taken alive, dimwit liberals at the ACLU and DNC would demand he receive a full slate of ‘Terrorist Rights,’ including a civilian jury trial, thereby delaying his demise/reward by a decade or two?

So, Zarqawi did what any sane Muslim about to lose out on 20 years of unfettered sex would do: He tried to escape in order to die immediately!

In the end, though, Zarqawi was a beneficiary of superior American technology as that 500 pound buster- bomb blasted the jihadist killer out of this level of consciousness.

Zarqawi’s last words on that bloody stretcher reflected his gratitude when he stole a direct quote from GW Bush:

Bring them on! said the dying jihadist, with a twinkle in his still-horny eye.

One can assume the three weasels who committed suicide have also snaked their way up to Islamic heaven and are reunited with Zarqawi. Those three are most likely in the process of claiming their heavenly rewards as well, all of which makes suicide, martyrdom and just plain death seem sort of appealing.

So, again I ask: With 72 virgins in the offing, why in the hell do Muslims ever resist death?

How Do You Say Hezbollah in Spanish?

Authored by JOHN W LILLPOP


President Bush has announced that MORE coalition(US) troops will be sent to Baghdad to deal with the insurgency. Seems as though violence is threatening the very existence of the fragile government of Iraq.

At the same time, the United Nations and world leaders are considering the use of a peace- keeping force to quell violence in the never-ending war in the Middle East.

Clearly, there is an urgent need for able-bodied young people to serve the interests of peace around the globe. But where can otherwise unoccupied young folk be found to serve?

Turns out, the answer can be found in the world's most prosperous nation.

Indeed, America is home to upwards of 20 million illegal aliens with no legal or moral basis for being here.

Illegal aliens who drain the American economy of $100 billion each year, and who threaten to destroy American culture and language by dragging our nation into a third-world abyss akin to Mexico.

Why not use illegal aliens in America to meet the need for peace-keeping forces in the Middle East?

To wit, herewith a simple solution:

Round up 550,000 illegal aliens and swear them in as non-citizen conscripts of the US infantry. Once enough illegals are trained and deployed to the middle east, bring 100,000 troops home to secure the US-Mexico border.

After 18 consecutive months of honorable service in the middle east, illegal aliens would be flown directly to Mexico City (no stops in US) with fully-executed deportation documents in hand. They would not be eligible to apply for re-entry, for whatever purpose, into the US for fifteen years from the date of separation at the Mexico City airport.

This pragmatic, yet humane, proposal will provide illegals with jobs, food, housing and medical care, until separation.

At the same time, the US will help bring peace to the middle east while securing our own southern border.

A win-win, if you will.

An added benefit will accrue once this cold, hard truth spreads throughout Mexico:

Breaking into America can cause one to be shipped to a hell -hole 8,000 miles from Tijuana, where Spanish is not spoken, where there are no ACLU lawyers or dimwit liberals to make idiotic arguments on an invader's behalf, and where an infantryman, legal or illegal, stands a good chance of being shot!

Do you suppose that message might discourage a few would-be invaders?

What about illegals unfit for military duty?

Well, labor will be needed to erect that 2,000 mile fence at the border............ how sweet it would be to use illegal immigrants as laborers to build a fence to keep their kind out!

The Fog of Liberalism

Authored by JOHN W LILLPOP



Liberalism has been called a mental disorder in some quarters. That label appears appropriate when one considers the liberal position on several current issues:

*Rising gasoline prices are devastating to working-class Americans, but protecting obscure organisms at the bottom of the food chain is of greater concern. Which is why drilling for oil & adding refining capacity are unacceptable.

*Large profits are obscenely un-American, except when it comes to George Soros, Oprah Winfrey and other liberals.

*Driving without a license is illegal; thus,illegal aliens should be licensed to avoid breaking the law.

*The earning power of the average American family is in serious decline, but the US should grant amnesty to millions of illegal aliens who will work for lower wages and no benefits, driving wages into further decline.

*Killing the sale of port security to UAE was necessary to protect home land security, but closing the borders with Mexico would unfairly “scapegoat” Hispanics.

*Bilingualism is essential in a tolerant, diverse society, except when it comes to requiring Hispanics to speak English. In that case, it becomes racism.

*Conservatives who work to preserve American culture and tradition are hate mongers. But immigrants from other nations/cultures must be allowed to retain their ‘cultural identity’ at all costs.

*Execution of a convicted killer is cruel, unusual & barbaric; whereas a woman’s right to abort the life of an innocent child is inalienable.

*Starving an innocent, helpless victim like Terri Schaivo to death is fine, whereas using lethal injection to end the life of a brutal killer is not OK.

* Invading a foreign nation is wrong, except when illegal immigrants from Mexico and other Latin nations invade America.

* Discrimination based on race or gender is wrong. Except when waged against Caucasian men, in which case it is mandated by law & called Affirmative Action.

*Masculinity & all things male are the source of all evil, whereas feminism is liberating & spiritual in nature. Jesus was probably female, truth be known.

*Freedom of speech must never be repressed, except when “hurtful” to any constituency of the Democrat party.

*Tax cuts are wrong if it means returning money to the people who actually paid taxes, but perfectly fine when sent to those who paid no taxes.

*Christmas, the Holy Bible & other symbols of Christianity must be quashed so as to offend no one; whereas, Ramadan, the Koran & symbols of Islam must be heavily promoted in the name of religious tolerance.

*Businesses are oppressive, fascist institutions that must not be allowed to grow too large. On the other hand, big government, when run by Democrats, creates wealth & happiness & must be expanded.

*Military force must never be used, except when absolutely needed to advance interests not vital to the US, or to obscure a Democrat president’s sexual misconduct in the Oval Office.

Can there be any doubt that the fog of liberalism is indeed a mental disorder?

Illegal Aliens Demanding Citizenship Is Akin to...

Authored by JOHN W LILLPOP



Watching millions of illegal aliens march through the streets of America last month DEMANDING citizenship and full rights was truly mind-boggling.

Just how outrageous are the demands of illegal aliens? Consider some parallel thinking:

-A bank robber DEMANDS interest on the $100,000 taken at gun point during his 'undocumented withdrawal'

-A convicted murderer DEMANDS a share of the proceeds from his victim's life insurance payoff

-A castrated pedophile inmate DEMANDS a tax write-off for his 'Organ Donation'

-A Muslim cleric DEMANDS the WTC 9/11 memorial include references to Allah, the Quaran, and the 'Religion of Peace'

-Just before undergoing a partial-birth abortion, a liberal mother DEMANDS that a Catholic priest conduct a 'last rites' ceremony for the soon-to-be pulverized fetus

Still, illegal aliens appear to have solid allies with just about all Democrats and the liberal media.

But I already mentioned psychotics, didn't I?

Should President Bush Retire or Resign?

Authored by JOHN W LILLPOP



"If you had a European prime minister who experienced what we've experienced it would be expected that he would retire or resign."

What irresponsible, whacked-out liberal said that about our president and commander-in-chief?

Nancy Pelosi? Cindy Sheehan? Howard Dean?

Actually, that is a direct quote from the Father of the modern conservative movement. None other than William F. Buckley, himself.

See story

There he was with those New England eyebrows jumping damn near off his head. Caustic tongue darting in and out of his puckered mouth like a cobra in heat.

As usual, Buckley used long, complex words not spoken in decades. In some cases, never before, at least not on CBS.

And this icon of right-wing thinking took GW Bush to the shed and gave the president a frightful good whipping.

Ten lashes to the president's bum for presiding over out-of-control spending. Deserved!

But Buckley's belt was stretched to the limit in meting out punishment for Bush's greatest failure: Foreign policy.

Specifically, Iraq.

Asked what President Bush's foreign policy legacy will be to his successor, Buckley says "There will be no legacy for Mr. Bush. I don't believe his successor would re-enunciate the words he used in his second inaugural address because they were too ambitious. So therefore I think his legacy is indecipherable"

Indecipherable?

Seems a quite precise description of the Bush agenda concerning illegal immigration as well.

Buckley even went so far as to suggest that George Bush is not a true conservative.

Buckley may be 81, but in my view he is right on the money. GW Bush is no conservative.

An Inconvenient Question: Could Al Gore be RIGHT?

Authored by JOHN W LILLPOP



Perish the very thought, right?

After all, Al Gore knows as much about science as Bill Clinton does about morality and sexual discretion.

Yet, there are some disturbing signs.

For example, as a resident of the San Francisco Bay area, I am accustomed to suffering through five or six really hot days each summer.

Five or six days total.... all summer.

And even on those few scorchers, once the sun sets, temperatures drop rapidly. Not uncommon to fall asleep under a roaring fan, only to awaken in the middle of the night in search of a light blanket to take the chill off.

2006 is different.

We have already been through more than a week of hot, humid weather. And it does not cool off at night.

Our natural ‘air conditioning’----that famous San Francisco fog---is missing.

Which would be OK if the heat zapped only liberals.

Unfortunately, conservatives suffer as much as liberals. Perhaps more, because we have to endure snide remarks about how Gore was right about global warming after all.

Still, I am not ready to concede the point.

Instead, I propose that all liberals give up their cars, cut their lawns with hand-push mowers, and forsake those noxious summer BBQs.

Lets try that for five to ten years and see if it helps cool things off a bit.

If it does, a tip of the hat would be owed Gore and his liberal minions.

If not, at least we will have reduced traffic and the demand for gasoline, and kept goofy liberals off the roads for a while.

And that would be a good thing!

Wake up and Smell the Kofi!

Authored by John W Lillpop

In any global crisis, large or small, the United Nations can be counted on to either exacerbate the problem or to have no impact.

Rarely, if ever, does involvement by Secretary General Kofi Anan accomplish much of anything.

Excepting the 'Oil for Food' scandal when Anan and a male offspring proved quite adept at fraud, thievery and cover-up.

So when it comes to a very dangerous world situation, like the current war between Israel and Hezbollah, why should anyone be surprised at, or disappointed by, Anan's performance on July 20?

True to form, Anan blathered on and on in a feeble attempt to assert UN authority and influence. His 'tough talk' included a stern scolding of both sides, and a demand that 'Hostilities must stop.'


Transcript of Anan's 7/20 address

And what was the immediate impact of this 'powerful' leader's words?

More bombings, rocket attacks and plans for a major invasion by Israeli ground forces.

In other words, neither Israel nor Hezbolah paid much attention, except to escalate the violence.

Some leader, some 'Peace Keeping!'

Face it, the UN could not mediate a pie-eating contest at a convention of Southern Baptists. Given the opportunity, Anan would engineer a "Pies for Salvation" scheme, or other such scandal, thereby catipulting the Baptists into an uncivil Holy War for the next 100 years.

Even so, Anan is reportedly sending a 'Team' to the region next week. Would that be volleyball or soccer, Mr. Anan?

And do you have the balls needed, sir?

Still, there is one bit of good news to celebrate: Katie Couric, who takes over as news CBS anchor in September, has announced she will NOT be going to the Middle East to cover the war.

"I think the situation there is so dangerous, and as a single parent with two children, that's something I won't be doing," Katie said.

Perhaps the 'perky' Couric heard about Anan's plans and decided to stay out of the way?

If so, a tip of the hat to the bumbling Anan for finally making a difference----even if it was entirely by accident!

Barry Bonds Bypasses Bail Bonds--For the Moment

Authored by John W Lillpop

US Attorney Kevin V. Ryan announced on Thursday that Barry Bonds would not be indicted that day.

However, Ryan also stated 'We're not finished yet,' in an ominous warning that no doubt has the Giants' slugger pacing the floors of his mansion.

Although given Bonds' extraordinary wealth, one can safely assume hired staff does his pacing for him.

This legal limbo that has entangled Bonds sets up the following scenario:

Spring, 2012. Five years have passed since Commissioner Bud Selig ended the career of Barry Bonds after the slugger was indicted for perjury and tax evasion.

This is the first year in which Bonds is eligible for induction into the baseball Hall of Fame.

Sportswriters are debating whether or not Bonds' conviction on those federal charges should prevent him from entering baseball's highly coveted museum of greatness.

Bonds'single-season and career home run records have been asterisked by Commissioner Selig, but admission to the Hall of Fame has been left in the hands of sports writers.

Meanwhile, in Leavenworth, Kansas, The Prison Dawg's clean-up hitter and single-term home run leader, sits anxiously beside his cell phone, in Cell 25.

Barry Bonds, Prisoner Number *****, hopes his reputation as a media-friendly, warm and congenial superstar will carry him over the top, and into Cooperstown on the first ballot.

Bonds grows edgy as that 'Big Call from The Hall' does not come through.

At days end, Bonds must confront the brutal truth: He will NOT be in the Hall of Fame, at least not this year. His only hope is to wish for better luck next year.

Meanwhile, he will just have to sit on his asterisk for another year in federal prison.

Does GW Just Rub Some People the Wrong Way?

Authored by John W Lillpop

Have the liberal media gone barking mad?

One would think so after reading some of the liberal pap about GW Bush's innocent rub administered to German Chancellor Angela Merkel.

Like the story published in the San Francisco Chronicle (Bush Gropes, Planet Cringes)in its July 19 edition.

Bush gropes? Planet cringes?

Good heavens, the president was simply comforting an American ally with a little conservative compassion.

Cowboy diplomacy, not erotic arousal, was obviously Mr. Bush's intent.

But to some media, Bush's gentle touch bordered on sexual assault, worthy of a bill of impeachment or, at the very least, induction into the Executive Wing of Nancy Pelosi's Culture of Corruption.

These are the same media types that gave Bill Clinton a free pass when Slick essentially turned the White House into his personal harem, and committed perjury about having "....sex with that woman, Ms. Lewinski."

Where was the liberal outrage when Juanita Broderick, Paula Jones, and Kathleen Wiley accused Clinton of' unwelcome advances, some bordering on criminal behavior?

But once again, there IS a wholly unfair double standard the media applies when reporting or opining about Republicans and Democrats.

To say that W simply 'rubs some people the wrong way' is to deny the intensity of the Bush hatred among liberal media.

Homeless or Illegal, Need Free Health Care? Welcome To San Francisco!

JOHN W LILLPOP



In a stunning victory for those who champion abandonment of personal responsibility, more government at all costs, and fiscal folly, the San Francisco Board of Supervisors voted unanimously to provide all City residents with free health care.

Mind you, The City is already a favored destination for thousands of homeless street people. Logically speaking, increasing the number of uncouth folk who immodestly urinate in public seems an odd way for a 'world class' city to behave.

But, remember, this is San Francisco, the City That Knows How.

Or, used to.

In other encouraging news, the Supervisors apparently discovered a heretofore undisclosed shortfall of illegal aliens.

Because San Francisco's unwritten mission objective is Diversity Before Sanity! , the lack of a robust illegal alien constituency was seen as a serious flaw, nearly rising to the level of criminal negligence.

To fix this racism-based oversight, the new health care benefit will apply to ALL residents, without regard to immigration status.

How will all this be paid for?

Well, this IS liberal paradise, where the T word---taxes--- is king, or queen, to be more precise.

Employers and those with the unmitigated gall to earn a decent wage will be coughing up extra dollars to fund this latest surrender to socialsim.

But according to local media, everyone should celebrate a great day of accomplishment by The City's Best and Brightest.

And why not?

After all, in just a few short hours, these liberal fog-heads have done their utmost to drive away those institutions and individuals that provide jobs, make The City work and pay taxes.

To offset the loss of productive contributors, the Supervisors have issued a warm welcome to those dependent on public handouts, and who pay no taxes.

Longtime local columnist Herb Cain, now deceased, once called San Francisco "Baghdad by the Bay."

To be brutally honest, in July 2006, even Baghdad seems more sane than The City.

Old Gray Lady Editor Still Clueless

Written By JOHN W LILLPOP






New York Times Executive Editor Bill Keller announced plans to reduce the physical dimension of the Old Gray Lady and to cut jobs in order to reduce costs.


Can you believe it? Keller actually believes its the size of his paper, rather than its liberal stench, that is driving readers away.

Unfortunately, the Old Gray Lady is no longer even capable of recognizing 'news fit to print,' much less actually finding and reporting it objectively.

Keller would be well advised to leave the dimensions of the paper alone in favor of the following:

-End the paper's tawdry affair with the Democrat party and liberalism;

-Discontinue the practice of disclosing sensitive information with the potential to provide aid and comfort to those who have declared war on America, and

-Require all NYT employees to attend 'Diversity' workshops for badly-needed attitude adjustments with respect to the US military, Republicans, Christians, Caucasians, heterosexuals, the Bush family tree, law enforcement authorities, US business interests, homeland security, American citizens, patriotism, lower taxes, Old Glory and rule of law.

One last thing, Mr. Keller: Make the correction of NYT errors more complete, prominent and visible on the front page.

That last item, done properly, will probably require that the paper size be doubled, rather than reduced!

Rebirth of Cowboy Diplomacy: Bush Drops an S Bomb!

WRITTEN BY JOHN W LILLPOP



To hear the Mean- Spirited Media(MSM) tell it, President Bush is guilty of an unforgivable breach of international etiquette and, most likely, the Geneva Convention.

And what is W's latest war crime?

Unwittingly speaking into a live microphone, Bush said this to Tony Blair:

"Syria should should press Hezbollah to stop doing this s***."

Not particularly diplomatic, to be sure.

But Bush's 'colorful' language pales in compassion to the 'F' bombs John Kerry dropped during interviews with print media before the 2004 election.

Of course, Kerry's salty language was calculated to soften his image as an intellectual elitist disconnected from mundane matters tormenting the middle and lower classes.

Thus, an occasional F bomb here and there was seen as a perfectly acceptable means for Kerry to connect with average Americans..... whom Kerry and the liberal MSM jointly regarded as unwashed dunces who swigged untoward quantities of beer, and used the F word whenever a 'cool' verb, adjective, adverb, or noun was needed to complete a lucid thought.

Or when a very short, but passionate, sentence was needed. As in Oh, F!

But GW Bush is NOT John F****** Kerry, and the rules ARE different for Republicans.

Still, Bush can profit from this innocent faux pas: He can do so by spinning the S Crisis as an in your face rejection of Time Magazine's premature burial of Cowboy Diplomacy.

Call it the Rebirth of Cowboy Diplomacy and American hegemony!

SF Bay Area: Home to the Liberally Insane?

BY JOHN W LILLPOP


In the interest of debunking numerous myths and exaggerations concerning liberalism in the San Francisco Bay Area, it is essential to disclose certain facts:

-It is NOT unlawful to vote Republican in San Francisco;

-A special permit is NOT required to fly the American flag, except on Cinco de Mayo day;

-Speaking English is NOT a hate crime, except at fast-food restaurants, car washes and when speaking to those obviously here illegally;

-Flag-burning is NOT taught at state universities by convicted arsons and volunteer pyromaniacs;

-Bay Area newspapers are NOT edited & published in Moscow;

-Law enforcement job applicants are NOT required to prove they are transvestite, gay, handicapped or a racial minority in order to qualify;

-The minimum wage is NOT $25.00 per hour (plus benefits), and is NOT an inviolate human right;

-Refusing to smoke marijuana when asked to by a police officer is NOT a felony;

-Working at Wal-Mart is NOT against state law, provided one can prove one is an illegal alien;

-Attending the church of one's choice on a regular basis does NOT automatically subject one to higher property taxes;

-Abortions are NOT available on The City's cable cars, but may be arranged through room service at most major hotels, and at progressive piano bars;

-Nancy Pelosi and Barbara Boxer are NOT co-chairs of the San Francisco Mensa society;

-Exhaling second-hand smoke is NOT a special circumstance crime that makes one eligible for the death penalty if convicted;

-English-speaking seniors born and raised in the Bay Area are NOT required to demonstrate Spanish proficiency in order to qualify for social security;

-Displaying the logo of the US Army, Navy, Air Force or Marines does NOT violate city or county ordinances, and is NOT necessarily an arrestable offense;

-Arabic-speaking terrorists are NOT a protected minority;

-Being a straight, white, employed, Christian male does NOT require one to notify the police before moving into a new neighborhood, and

-Seeing Al Gore's 'An Inconvenient Truth' is NOT mandatory as long as one has concrete plans to leave America permanently within the next 90 days.


So while liberalism IS a severe and debilitating mental disorder afflicting millions of Bay Area residents, the good news is that an effective antidote, in the form of conservative values and common sense thinking, is in place and prospering!

Quite a Flaming Babe, that Valerie Plame!

WRITTEN BY JOHN W LILLPOP

In the case involving Valerie Plame, it remains unclear whether or not she was a covert spy for the CIA. It is equally uncertain whether or not her identity was unlawfully leaked.

However, one thing is absolutely clear and without the slightest doubt: Valerie Plame is drop-dead beautiful!

A Plame by any other name is still a flaming babe!

Ms. Plame's stunning looks catch one off guard, and can cause a temporary loss of focused concentration.

She is also capable of inspiring impromptu fantasies having absolutely nothing to do with boring CIA affairs, but plenty to do with affairs of the heart and all that implies.

Ms. Plame's striking beauty raises immediate questions:

-How in the world did a low-level hack like Joe Wilson attract this icon of female beauty?

-Why did Wilson leave Valerie's side to travel to Niger looking for yellow cake, when he was blessed with a gold mine at home?

-How did Wilson keep Bill Clinton away this Angel of loveliness?


Personally, I hope Plame's suit against Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, Scooter Libby et al makes it to court.

A couple of months of Plame on Court TV would be great for their ratings, and a real boost to my fantasy life!

Death, Taxes.........and Taxes After Death in California?

WRITTEN BY JOHN W LILLPOP


Just how nutty are California Democrats?

Well, consider this.

Democrats are working on a new tax, euphemistically called Property Use Revenue Enhancement(PURE), that will enable the state to pick the pockets of the deceased years after the dearly departed has drawn his/her last breath.

Should Democrats succeed in this dastardly evil, one will no longer be able to escape the greedy clutches of the tax collector by simply dying.

Specifically, Democrats would like to levy a PURE on occupied burial plots at public cemeteries in the state.

The 'logic' behind this latest liberal goofiness is that burial plots are not the 'best and highest use' of California real estate, particularly in light of the skyrocketing escalation of land value. Some land in prime locations has increased by more than 1000% over the past five years.

'Best and highest' use of public land is mandated by California law.

But rather than seizing cemetery property with eminent domain authority, Democrats would prefer to levy a PURE on the descendants of those resting in public burial plots.

Democrat political wonks argue believe that a PURE, if not excessive, would cause far less outrage than an eminent domain action which would involve condemnation of public cemeteries, and require relatives to relocate the remains of loved ones.

Supporters also point out that the PURE would be progressive in nature, meaning that tax collectors would work with state and federal tax authorities to determine current income levels.

Tax rates would then be established based on an 'ability to pay' scale and the number of deceased resting in any specific burial location.

This proposal is being touted in some Democrat circles as the long-awaited salvation for tax and spend liberals everywhere, especially since the PURE could be manipulated to exclude most constituents in the Democrat base.

Republicans are not so sure.

Some even suspect this is a 'trial balloon' being lofted by Democrat gubernatorial candidate Phil Angelides who is alleged to hold stock in the Neptune Society, a service that utilizes cremation, rather than burial, for disposal of human remains.

A PURE on burial plots might cause a run on cremation services, thereby benefiting Anglides, GOP sources suggested.


satireismine

Should US Cede Oklahoma To Mexico?

By JOHN W LILLPOP

Ending the US-Mexico War

Despite the fact that politicians in America and Mexico will not admit it, the two North American neighbor nations are engaged in war.

Mexico is the aggressor as it continues to attack the US by sending millions of illiterate Mexican peasants across the border into US territory.

This invasion has a devastating impact on US homeland security, economic stability and the preservation of superior Anglican culture and language.

Conversely, applying the theory of 'addition by subtraction,' Mexico is actually strengthened when its more needy and less productive unwashed masses migrate illegally to America.

Because of complex eco-political realities(bribes and fraud), much of America's elected elite has been unwilling to acknowledge the war and to take steps to protect American interests.

Even our Republican president has been co-opted by sinister forces, and has little or no interest in asserting American sovereignty and independence.

Mr. Bush even dismisses the hot bottom topic of 'terrorism' in deference to accommodating an uninterrupted supply of cheap, docile labor from Mexico.

What is the solution, then, to ending this undeclared war, before it spills over into actual violence?

One solution might be to essentially grant-deed one of the 50 US States to Mexico, and designate that state as the 'Illegal Alien" state for Hispanic invaders.

The new state would officially be a part of Mexico, thereby partially assuaging Aztlan activists dedicated to the "Reconquesta" of the American south west.

But which state should the US sacrifice in order to make peace with Mexico?

Clearly the state so designated should be as much like Mexico as possible in order to fashion a seamless transition. Using that criteria, officials would be looking for a US state with the following characteristics:


-History of very poor educational & academic achievements

-High incidence of illiteracy, grade school drop outs

-Very limited opportunities for higher education

-Economy based on low technology, agriculture

-Massive poverty: Average income less than $5,000 per household

-Poor social integration--Racial, economic unrest

-Little or no cultural sophistication

Using these benchmarks, the state of Oklahoma would appear a perfect match for designation as the 'Illegal Alien' state.

Moving 20 million illegal aliens into Oklahoma would have other benefits: The media IQ and literacy scores for Oklahoma would immediately rise, inspiring new and creative sources of capital for social and economic development.

The only remaining significant issue: How do you say Okie in Spanish?










satireismine

Why Vicente Fox Will NOT Burn in Hell

Written by JOHN W LILLPOP





While many good people of faith are eagerly awaiting Vicente Fox's date with hell and the ensuing charcoaling of his evil being for ever and ever, there is bad news to relate.

Vicente Fox will NOT burn in hell.

Why, you ask?

Where is there justice if the criminal Fox, who has dumped 20 million illiterate peasants on the backs of US taxpayers, is not forced to pay the ultimate price for his crimes?

The answer can be found at Wikepedia.

Look under HELL, and you will see an exhaustive definition of the various sins that will cause eternal damnation, as well as the awful punishments to be meted out to those who live in sin.

On Page 7 of the document, however, there is a list of elements that will not burn, and hence can not be punished with eternal hell.

Among the elements so identified is the product that constitutes 99.999999% of Vicente Fox's personage: Dung!

It is with heavy hearts, indeed, that we the faithful must accept the fact that Vicente Fox will not burn in hell.

That is, unless the devil can invent a way to incinerate dumb dung!

Illegal Aliens in California Prisons: An Inconvenient Truth?

JOHN W LILLPOP

California's prison system is in absolute crisis.

The inmate population is 200% the number of inmates the state's 33 facilities were designed to accommodate. Health and safety are major concerns.

In a July 9 opinion piece titled A morass behind our prison walls, the editorial staff at the San Jose Mercury News attempted to address the prison crisis.

Although illegal aliens make up a large percentage of the California inmate population and cost taxpayers about $1.6 billion dollars per year, the Mercury News did not even mention this fact. Not a single word about illegal aliens and their impact!

An inconvenient truth, perhaps?

Why did A morass behind our prison walls not call for deporting illegal alien inmates and billing the countries of origin---primarily Mexico--- for the cost of incarceration?

Why no call for greater security at the borders to keep criminals from invading the US to begin with?

Why no call for rounding up and deporting ALL illegal aliens who, by definition, are criminals?

Why not an honest, unbiased look at a major problem afflicting our great nation and state?

Why more of the same old tired editorial malfeasance from the liberal-biased Mercury News?

America Continues To Pay Steep Price for Electing Democrats

Democrat Presidents Carter and Clinton Caused Most of Current World Crises



BY JOHN W LILLPOP

While America has generally prospered under the steady hand of GW Bush over the past five plus years, our nation continues to pay a steep price for electing Democrats in 1976 and 1992/1996.

Specifically, America's 2006 Independence Day celebrations were marred by news that North Korea fired six missiles including a long-range one with capability to reach the United States. That missile failed shortly after launch.

North Korea's experimentation with missiles and nuclear weapons is a direct result of wrong-headed policies implemented by the Clinton Administration.

With Secretary of State Madeline Albright running the show whilst Bill Clinton was otherwise engaged with Monica Lewinski and others in sex parlors Clinton established in the White House, fatal errors in judgment occurred in the name of official American foreign policy.

In effect, the Clinton Administration aided and abetted in the creation of the North Korean nuclear nightmare, under madman monster leader Kim Jong Il.

Had American military professionals been involved instead of an inexperienced, naive old woman and a president addicted to immoral sexual behavior, Mr. Kim Jong Il would have been put out of business years ago.

In addition to the North Korean mess, GW Bush is dealing with the Iranian nuclear crisis, one that threatens world peace and economic stability in very dangerous ways.

That calamity has its roots in the administration of Jimmy Carter.

Mr. Carter, people will reluctantly remember, is the Democrat president who concerned himself with trivial issues such as scheduling the White House tennis courts.

While President Carter was thus engaged, militant extremists attacked the American embassay in Tehran, taking 62 American citizens as hostages. 52 of those Americans were held captive for more than one year.

Carter's incompetence and bungling is still haunting the US., even though America quickly decided that electing Carter was a huge mistake.

Mr. Carter was sent packing after four miserable, wasted years in office with interest rates hovering above 20% and the prestige of America in ruins.

The bottom line: If America had not elected Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton, the world, and especially America, would be far safer today.

America's Heritage: Founded, Perfected by Angry White Men

Although the disease of liberalism motivates the weak-minded to tear down white Christian men at every opportunity, unrevised American history is actually quite kind to this demographic.

For it was a courageous band of angry white men, mostly Christian, who offered all of mankind a glimmer of hope in the ongoing battle against oppression and tyranny.

On July 4, 1776, the independence of our blessed nation was established. The liberating Declaration of Independence was created without the diversity and multi-culturalism that modern liberals claim is our 'greatest strength.'

Despite this astounding lack of diversity, these angry white men created a formula for self-governance and freedom that has made America the envy of all the world.

This is not to say that diversity is harmful or not beneficial to America.

But it is to say that those who strive to discredit our founding fathers need to drop the anti-white Christian rhetoric.

That demographic has produced and perfected the most successful and prosperous society in human history.

They deserve the respect and undying gratitude of all Americans!

Illegal Aliens: Courageous Heroes or Yellow Cowards?

BY JOHN W LILLPOP


Of all the ridiculous spin lines in the illegal alien debate, the one guaranteed to drive my last meal out is the one that celebrates criminal invaders as: "Courageous heroes who risked death by crossing a hostile desert just to improve their lives."

Heroes?

Only an idiot like Mexican president Vicente Fox would seek to glorify criminals for violating US borders and laws.

Although one must concede that from Fox's perspective, illegal aliens ARE heroes.... because when tens of millions of Mexican peasants invade America, they are out of his hair..... and dumped squarely on the backs of US taxpayers.

But heroes?

Recent events suggest that these criminals are not so courageous, after all.

Indeed, when it came time to vote in Mexico's election, most illegal aliens avoided going home, fearful of being unable to re-invade the US.

All that brown macho apparently morphed into chicken yellow.

Let's hope that that chicken yellow prevents illegals from voting in our elections this Fall.

Lord knows there will be plenty of corrupt Democrats urging them to do so!

Old Gray Lady Does Not Look So Hot in Red

BY JOHN W LILLPOP

'All the news that's fit to print,' has long been the slogan of the New York Times, once a proud, respected news source relied on by people all over the globe.

Regrettably, liberalism has infected the brains of some very powerful folks at the paper. Out- of -control liberalism has in turn spawned raw, unrestrained hatred for George Bush, and that has driven the old Gray lady into the gutter.

Indeed, the old Gray lady has taken to the streets like a tramp in the night, one who sells her soul and journalistic integrity for the Holy Grail of the corporate news world ----the scoop.

Like any other despicable tramp, the Lady in Red cares not one whit about those who subscribe to her services.

So what if national security is weakened? How is that my concern, the Lady in Red cries?

After all, her sole responsibility is to inform the public, even if doing so threatens the health and lives of the very people she is obsessed with informing.

If America loses the war on terror because of treasonous behavior by tramps like those at the New York Times, at least we the people can take comfort in the knowledge that we were well informed.

Even Bill Keller can not really believe that that makes one lick of sense.

That Fetus: "An Inconvenient Pregnancy" or "Life Before Birth?"

BY JOHN W LILLPOP

As Americans struggle to cope with the gut-wrenching issues of the day, one concern constantly dominates the social wars from one generation to the next, unabated in intensity and emotional power.

That issue is America's love-hate relationship with abortion.

Those who favor a woman's right to terminate a human fetus
should consider a thought that captures the spirit of this debate, eloquently and succinctly, all at once:

Life before birth!

That says it all, really. Call that fetus what you wish, but the fact remains it is human life.

Albeit, a life without power, voting rights, free speech or any other protection afforded the born.

But a human life, nonetheless.

A precious gift from God----regardless of how inconvenient the pregnancy may be to the vessel blessed with the greatest gift He can bestow.

Willfully ending a human life is, in essence, a declaration that one is somehow justified in destroying one of our Creator's most spectacular achievements.

A superseding of Divine Will by mortal will, if you will.

And if you supplant Divine Will with your own in order to end a human life, someday you will have to account for your decision before God ---- in a judgment you simply can not afford to lose!

Which is why, even in cases involving the most despicable sub-human killers, our society affords layer-upon-layer of legal review and recourse before implementing death as the officially-sanctioned punishment by the state.

Unfortunately, while liberals fight to the bitter end to save the pathetic life of a thug convicted of multiple murders, there is no mercy or fight in them for the unborn-----those who have life before birth.

And while they work 24/7 to prevent executions of convicted killers because of newly-minted concerns about the 'pain' inflicted by lethal injections, liberal dogma is perfectly OK with the fact that 40 million human lives have been purged, courtesy of the Roe V Wade Fetus Death Certificate, issued in 1973.

40 million! Nearly seven times greater than those who perished in the Holocaust. About the number Joseph Stalin butchered in the USSR.

But the 40 million lives slaughtered by Americans were not political, social or religious enemies of anyone.

They were innocent young human lives waiting for a chance to experience the American Dream----but who were destroyed because each was "An Inconvenient Pregnancy."

May good and righteousness prevail in the hearts of Americans and replace a mindset that tolerates 'An Inconvenient Pregnancy' with one that celebrates "Life before Birth!"

Forget Building Schools In Mexico: Move Hollywood Elite There Instead!

BY JOHN W LILLPOP

Susan Sarandon, Hollywood's dumbed-down version of Nancy Pelosi, has stunned the civilized world with a proposal so brilliant one wonders why it has not surfaced before: Sarandon wants the United States to build schools in Mexico. At US-taxpayer expense, of course.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/06/22/ap/entertainment/mainD8IDHHLG0.shtml

According to Sarandon, such a move would do more to end illegal immigration than constructing a fence at the US-Mexico border because it would bring Mexican children the gift of education.

Forget the fact that building new schools in Mexico will not stop 'good-hearted, hard-working' people just looking for a better life from invading America. Sarandon's proposal is super-wacky because it would make American taxpayers responsible for fixing problems rightfully belonging to the Mexican people.

Problems that should be addressed by the corrupt, rotten Mexican government.

Until Mexico installs honorable people of integrity into positions of leadership, the US must use whatever means(including military force) necessary to keep people like Vicente Fox from dumping Mexico's problems on the US side of the border.

Misery loves company, but downgrading America into a 3rd-world slum on a par with Mexico will only serve to make liberals like Sarandon feel better. It most certainly will not fix the problem.

But perhaps there is another solution that would ease liberal guilt without costing US taxpayer hundreds of billions.

Namely: Move Hollywood ---the motion picture industry, the elitist stars, the anti-America crowd-- the whole enchilada to Mexico, en masse.

What a boon it would be to the Mexican economy to have all those rich, famous liberals in their very midst. A billion dollar movie industry could be just what the doc ordered for our 3rd-world neighbor.

And if it turns out that the 'trickle down' effect from the Hollywood-Mex venture does not quite boost the economy enough, Mexico's government could always tax the living hell out of Hollywood's brightest stars, and seize the huge mansions such stars would surely buy or build once in Mexico.

Compassionate liberals like Sarandon, obsessed with ending Mexican poverty, would surely be willing to give whatever part of their personal fortunes might be needed to achieve such a noble cause.

For the 'little' people of Mexico.

And if the redistribution of Hollywood wealth still fails to seal the deal, Father Mahoney and others of like mind in the Catholic clergy might be persuaded to join forces with the Hollywood elite by moving to Mexico as well.

After all, Father Mahoney is always looking for an opportunity to stamp out poverty.

Moving to Mexico would provide the Father and his ilk with an unlimited and immediate source of people to help---or, more accurately, 'fleece?'

Pelosi 'Speaker Express' Crushes Willam J. Jefferson

"This isn't about proof in a court of law. This is about an ethical standard."

BY JOHN W LILLPOP

Nancy Pelosi(Dunce-California) had this to say about the Democrats' vote to strip William Jefferson of a highly-valued committee assignment:

"This isn't about proof in a court of law. This is about an ethical standard," she told reporters. [url=http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/wireStory?id=2082852]http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/wireStory?id=2082852[/url]

Regrettably, not all Democrats agree with this bug-eyed airhead from San Francisco.

58 Democrats voted against the cleansing. Some even saw it as 'ethnic' cleansing.

But hardly any of those 58 ethically-challenged Democrats have ordered drapes, new carpeting and a 'Diversity Hotline' for the Speaker's office as Pelosi has.

To her credit, Pelosi has not yet yanked down Hastert's name- plate from the Speaker's office door. But only because such vandalism would have to be done very late at night, and Pelosi refuses to leave her pet rats alone after dark.

Unless her presence on the Hill is essential to conducting a 21st century 'Hi-Tech' lynching. Eat your heart out, Anita Hill!

After presiding over the Jefferson human sacrifice Thursday evening, the Queen of the Godless from San Francisco added this:

"I wish the White House would follow our lead on this."

A none-too-subtle slam at president Bush for actually keeping his word on Karl Rove.

Rove, for liberals with short, selective, memories, is the White House fellow NOT indicted this week----and never to be, thank you!

But perhaps Pelosi has a here-to-now unseen video of Karl Rove telling a room full of reporters, in no uncertain terms, that Valerie Plame was a CIA agent.

And another video, recorded shortly thereafter, showing Rove lying about that unlawful disclosure to to a room full of FBI agents. Under oath.

If so, Nancy please release that video. For the common good, woman!

If not, Pelosi should finish her 'House Cleaning' by focusing on the likes of Cynthia McKinney, Patrick Kennedy and other Democrats who fail to meet her high ethical standards.

Lots of 'House Work' there, Ms. Speaker-to-be.

That is, if you really care about a Clean House!

Honoring Old Glory on Independence Day!

BY JOHN W LILLPOP


As American citizens dig into those BBQ steaks, corn on the cob, watermelon and Cherry Cobbler on the 4th, let a clarion call be sounded:

34 United States Senators voted against protecting Old Glory and declared, in effect, that the Red, White and Blue is nothing special.

Thus, the amendment to prevent desecration of our most precious symbol was once again sabotaged by those who simply do not care enough to do the right thing.

Democrats dominated the opposition, as usual, to this common-sense proposal with 30 out of 44(75%) voting to say 'To Hell With Old Glory!'

Lousy Democrats were joined by three RINOs and one independent in dumping Old Glory into the trash heap.

If just one of those 34 politicians had considered the young men and women fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan before casting their wrong minded votes, America would have taken a giant step forward.

Unfortunately, that was not the case.

So, we the people are once again stuck with political malfeasance and neglect at the hands of Democrats and miscellaneous weasels who can not stand to see the United States or any of its institutions honored.

Thank God they were not voting on the July 4th celebration itself, or next Tuesday would have been become just another day....nothing special.

I urge all who love this nation and who cherish American values to join me in saying Hell No! to the 34 weasels.